Funny and meaningful one-liners! Part 4

hey guys! here's part 4 of the one-liners!
enjoy reading!
150. Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.
151. Freedom of speech is wonderful – right up there with the freedom not to listen.
152. Friendly fire – isn’t.
153. Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.
154. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
155. Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
156. Frog blast the vent core!
157. Gee, Toto, I don’t think we’re in kansas anymore.
158. Getting screwed while everybody else is getting laid.
159. Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
160. Goals are deceptive. The unaimed arrow never misses.
161. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
162. God made us brothers, but prozac made us friends.
163. God will forgive me. That’s his job, after all.
164. Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
165. "Great thinkers have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds." — Albert Einstein
166. Half the people you know are below average.
167. Happiness isn’t having what you want, it’s wanting what you have.
168. Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
169. Hear and you forget; see and you remember; do and you understand.
170. Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
171. Hey Santa, how much for your list of naughty girls?
172. Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
173. Hey, you want to go out for pizza and some sex? What, you don’t like pizza?
174. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.
175. Honk if you like peace and quiet.
176. How come wrong numbers are never busy?
177. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
178. I am not single, I’m romantically challenged.
179. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
180. I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do.
181. I can’t spell and beer doesn’t help.
182. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
183. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
184. I don’t care who you are! Get those reindeers off my roof!
185. I don’t mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a ~censored~!
186. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
187. I doubt, therefore I might be.
188. I drink to make other people interesting.
189. I have a strong will but a weak won’t.
190. "I know I’m paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?" — Tom Clancy
191. I like being single. I’m always there when I need me.
192. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
193. I need someone really bad! Are you really bad?
194. I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
195. I only drink to make other people more sociable.
196. I prefer old age to the alternative.
197. I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.
198. "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers." — Peter Kaye
199. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
200. I thought I was wrong once, but it turns out I was mistaken.